am I a normal parent?

just finished reading "Am I A Normal Parent?" by Sara Dimerman...i really want to know if i am a normal parent...

this book is a therapy for the mind and soul for parents...i thoroughly enjoyed reading this and every parent should read it...this is the definitive guide to figuring out what's normal for parents in the 21st century...Am I a Normal Parent? will allow you to evaluate how you fit into what is most typical and will reaasure you that you are not alone in your worries...it also addresses feeling guilty about losing patience, being angry and not spending enough time with your children...this book also touches on how culture, upbringing and external influences affect your parenting way...

i am really fascinated with the author believes what NORMAL is...NORMAL is an acronym for No One Really Marches Alone.... even if you are in a situation where you think or feel is not normal, comfort yourself by knowing that somewhere out there, another parent is feeling, thinking and behaving just like you....

this book is deeply comforting to mothers like me who suffers the guilt and anxiety that woven into the parenting experience...it is very reassuring, not preachy, yet thoughtful and insightful, and best of all it is written in a humorous way...!

after reading this, i assure you that i am still a normal parent..!

going green- cloth padding

my stash

yeah, Let's Go Green! it's definitely time to make a paradigm shift if we want to save our world...long live Mother Nature...

let's see how green is our family now...i'm breastfeeding, Imtiaz is cloth diapering, we bring our reusable shopping bags on no plastic bag day (occasionally, if we remember what day it is, sigh), we signed up for e-billing for bank statements and phone bills, Jihan uses recycle papers to draw or write her stuffs, we grow our own vegetables/ulam, we make our own Roselle cordial, hmmm, what else..?

and recently, i've been cloth padding fully during my last menstrual cycle...to start with, i bought 3 night pads, 8 regular pads and 4 panty liners from various brands...i had mamapatch, momiji, fussybutt moonbow and sweetprettystuff...

at first, i was nervous it would leak and i doubt its absorbency and messiness...lucky my 1st day menses fell on a holiday, so there's no need for me to anticipate any possible embarrassing moments in public...

my first day experience, well, not bad at all...i really like the feeling of having something soft down there with no feeling of wetness at all (like the one that i feel with disposable pads usually)...plus, there was no itchiness or urticaria developed at the contact area...there was no leaking and handling it was a breeze...

what i did was wash thoroughly the soiled pads with running water until there water ran clear and there was no stain on the pad...well, if the stain did not come off, i soaked it overnight with a tiny amount of detergent...and the next morning, i tossed it together with Imtiaz's cloth diapers and let the washing machine do its job...

for the heavy days, i tend to use about 5-6 pads per day and on lighter days, 3-4 pads per day...the washed pads were very clean with no stains visible and the cloth stayed like new...

if i'm on the go, i bring along a small wetbag to stuff in the used pad that has been washed with water...i definitely like the pretty prints on the pads..it makes my period day happy...and saves my pocket too....

lesson learnt...

cartoon googled

yesterday, i was on leave, yet i had to attend to some important matters in the afternoon and later in the evening catching up with my best friend, Dahlia for dinner...

i had to leave the kids at home and they followed their wan and atok to an engagement party in the afternooon...before leaving, as usual, i nursed my thirsty dinosaur... and throughout the afternoon to late evening, i did not express my breast milk...

returned home, i nursed Imtiaz as usual and throughout the night as he demanded..and this morning i felt a pain lump on the left breast and pain on the nipple...i checked for any crack nipple but i found another milk bleb...gosh, that caused the pain and possibly causing a blocked milk duct...

so, i guess i have to self-remedy...i nursed Imtiaz frequently on the affected side and kept on massaging the painful lump...in the shower, i immersed the whole breast in a mug of warm water and massaged the painful lump towards  the bleb/nipple (ouch!)...

it helped but didn't solve the problem...the milk flowed through the bleb but did not burst opened the bleb...so, i took a sterile needle, gently stuck it into the bleb and milk oozed from it....phew..!! then i massaged the lump towards the bleb and more milk flowed..quickly i called Imtiaz to nurse and he did a wonderful job sucking all the milk out and relieving the blocked duct...

alhamdulillah, it's now better...

i thought, my milk production is not that heavenly much like before (as Imtiaz is already 20 months old now) but it can cause significant problem when i did not empty my breasts for about 5 hours yesterday....that's why i still pump at work twice a day - for stimulation and also to prevent such things to happen...i will never, ever leave Imtiaz again for a significant long duration without any intervention..

i'm listed on ILCA

i've been a member of the International Lactation Consultant Association (ILCA) for the past 1 year... ILCA, is the professional association for International Board Certified Lactation Consultants (IBCLCs) and other health care professionals who care for breastfeeding families.... their vision is a worldwide network of lactation professionals.... their mission is to advance the profession of lactation consulting worldwide through leadership, advocacy, professional development and research...

and now, as an IBCLC, i am listed in the Find a Lactation Consultant (FALC) Directory.. i'm proud to be part of ILCA..hoping to get a scholarship and attend the annual ILCA conference soon...in the meanwhile, to make a lactation profession well-known and established in Malaysia...

the meaning of Aidiladha

1 cow down

on 10th of Zulhijjah month of Islamic calendar, Muslims all over the world celebrate Aidiladha, which is one of the biggest and important events in the annual Muslim calender...similarly on the same day, the pilgrims in the holy city of Mecca are performing the fifth pillar of Islam, the Haj..

during Aidiladha, a ritual known as qurban or sacrifice is carried out after the Aidiladha prayer... animals such as cows, goats and camels that meet certain religious criteria are sacrificed as a symbolic gesture to remember the sacrifice that was instructed upon Prophet Ibrahim a.s...this act of sacrifice is an attribute of the spirit embodied in Islam... Islam encourages its believers to be everwilling to sacrifice in the name of God....While the sacrifice on Aidiladha is specific in nature, sacrifice can come in many forms...

imtiaz makes new friends

it should be realised that sacrifice should not be limited to the day of Aidiladha...instead sacrifice should be part and parcel of a Muslim's character which is practised every day of his life....this form of sacrifice can be tangible or intangible, be they in the form of material, financial, time and/or energy...

besides a whole array of delicacies on the table, we should inculcate the meaning of Qurban in our children...even though they are too small to understand the true meaning of it, it is a good exposure for them to see what is really happening on the day....

my two beautiful kids

as Jihan becomes mature each day, she understands that Muslims go to the holy Mecca to perform Haj..her school principal also went to perform Haj this year, so that put more sense into her...when she saw the photos of Kaabah and Muslims performing the Haj in the TV,  she would say that she one day too would want to go to Mecca...and we always tell her before going to Mecca, she must perform 5 times prayers a day, be a good Muslimah and to start saving money from now on...

and yesterday, dear hubby brought the two kids to see our Jamaah slaughtering cows at the surau...Imtiaz was so excited seeing the cows and Jihan too, being scared at first, later enjoyed herself..it was such an experience for her and i was very proud of her courage..

the kids are so amazed

later in the evening, i read her a story regarding Prophet Ibrahim a.s and his son, Prophet Ismail a.s, how Prophet Ibrahim was commanded to offer his son Ismail up for sacrifice, and though it grieved him greatly, he made ready to perform the task.. however, as he was about to strike his son, God stopped him and revealed that it was a trial... Ismail's life was spared, and a ram was sacrificed in his place...

Jihan was so amazed listening to the story and that taught her to be brave like Prophet Ismail a.s and obey all Allah's commands and also to listen well to the elderly...

insya Allah, as they mature each day, i believe Jihan and Imtiaz will understand more the  wide meaning of sacrifice...

Breastfeeding Sucks - What to do when your mammaries make you miserable

i've just finished reading such an hilarious breastfeeding book that keeps you laughing out loud from cover to cover...it's good for middle of the night reading when your hubby and kids are fast asleep and you are still wide awake, not knowing what to do...this is just what you need- something funny and engaging that is also somehow informative...

when reading this, i agree that some the stories inside coincide with my own experiences (along with my stupidity and zero knowledge of breastfeeding during my first time nursing my baby 5 years ago)..although as a lactation consultant, i agree that some of the information are incorrect and need further clarification from the lactation experts and further reading  from some other breastfeeding references/books...but this book is light enough, short enough and funny enough to engage the average mother...

i would recommend this book to mothers who want to relieve their inevitable stress about breastfeeding, but not as a sole breastfeeding reference...

i bought this at the recent Big Bad Wolf  (BBW) Books Sale....guess how much the price is..? i got for RM 5...yes, i'm not kidding you, just RM 5..! the original price at Amazon.com is USD 9.95...

and if you are looking for this piece at the BBW Books Sale today or tomorrow, sorry, you won't find it anymore...my lactation friends have bought them all and they were all sold out by the 3rd day of the sale...

the Big Bad Wolf Books Sale 2010 (part 2)

that's my stash for the 3rd day...

i'm such a crazy book lover ...yup, went for the 3rd time yesterday (alone) just to see if i can get some good books..the addiction to the BBW Sale is so irresistible...

there weren't many people around...but i saw a few familiar faces that have been coming to the sale for the past 3 consecutive days as well...(that proves that i'm not the only one who went ku-ku with the sale)...

though there were still tonnes of books around, there weren't much cooking/recipes book left, and at the children section, books for preschoolers and toddlers were almost non existence...

despite that, i managed to grab 18 more books that cost me RM 118...(huwaaa...so much damage done these few days due to the BBW Sale!)..mainly some books for the kids, some cookbooks for myself and a few novels...

apart form all the books that woo me,  i really like the BBW staffs...they were so friendly and helpful..they even help you to send your books to your car... congratulations to the whole BBW staffs...they deserve a big clap for their dedications and hard work throughout the sale period...

i didn't get the free book marks as mentioned, and i don't think i'll be going there again just to collect them (and that prevent further damage to my pockets as well, huuuu)...anyway, i'm looking forward for the next sale and yes, i'm going to be there on the very first day!

keep up the good work, BBW...!

La Leche League International - How Weaning Happens

i just finished reading a breastfeeding book that i borrowed from the Susuibu.com Library. the La Leche League International - How Weaning Happens, by Diane Bengson, a LLL leader...

what i like about this book is that it includes the personal experiences of mothers who have weaned their children in a variety of ways...

La Leche League's approach to weaning is very different from the conventional view that weaning is something abrupt and painful that one must do to a baby to push him into the next stage of maturity....HOW WEANING HAPPENS presents weanings that are gentle, gradual, and natural... "Weaning can be seen as a lesson in trust. Trusting that your child will wean when he's ready is an act of faith, as is trusting that you and your child can find gentle, acceptable ways to wean."

 Above all, HOW WEANING HAPPENS recognizes that weaning is a process, not an event. It starts when a baby takes anything besides breast milk by mouth. Gradually, the baby finds other activities and pleasures to meet the needs that were once met exclusively by nursing. The weaning process may extend over months or years and over many stages of a child's development. Leaders often say, "Watch the baby, not the clock," about how often you nurse your baby. In the case of weaning, the slogan might translate to, "Watch the baby, not the calendar." As one mother in the book observed, "Weaning is not about logic or charts or time. Weaning is about readiness. I only know this because I can see that my baby is not ready to wean. She hasn't shown me at all that she is ready to wean, and she is the one person whose opinion on this subject counts."

It can be hard to balance the needs of mother and child in the cooperative venture of weaning. Many mothers find themselves thinking about weaning before the child is ready, while others experience disappointment when their baby or toddler initiates weaning earlier than expected. Things grow even more complicated when the rest of society weighs in. An entire chapter is devoted to "Pressure to Wean." It helps mothers deal with criticism or misinformation from others. The chapter on "Weaning Because of Medical Advice" is equally useful and presents information, resources, and enlightening questions to ask when a health care provider suggests weaning.

HOW WEANING HAPPENS does an excellent job of portraying the advantages of natural weaning. Bengson also has the courage to recognize that weaning can be hard emotional work. HOW WEANING HAPPENS respects mothers by addressing both the positive and negative sides of extended nursing: "Being aware of and honest about your own needs is the best way to avoid feeling burned-out or put upon by a nursing toddler." "Extended nursing isn't about being a martyr or feeling powerless in your nursing relationship . . . Instead of seeing nursing (or not nursing) as a power struggle to be won or lost, consider that your child is asking to nurse in order to get his needs met." Bengson helps the reader sort out whether taking a more active role in weaning will be worthwhile. There is a useful section about how weaning should not be expected to change your child's other behaviors, such as eating patterns or night-waking. Chapter 10 also takes us into a new arena: concrete advice for what to do when weaning doesn't go well.

The book ends on a positive note, reminding us that breastfeeding is only one aspect of the mother-child relationship. As one mother expresses it: "We are still very close. I realize that nursing did not equal mothering. I am still his mother and we are still attached." A satisfying weaning is as precious as the beautiful bond of breastfeeding. HOW WEANING HAPPENS will help many mothers achieve this satisfaction.

from the La Leche League International website

no, i'm not ready to wean Imtiaz as yet, although he is already 20 months old..i'm pretty sure Imtiaz is not ready as well...reading this fantastic book gives me the idea on how to anticipate the possible maternal feelings towards weaning, and how to continue to love our child unconditionally after the nursing relationship ends with your child...

it is such an amazing thing reading the mother's experiences and feelings on weaning and how their relationship with their children strengthen after weaning...it does bring tears to my eyes as well, because i am not sure how i would react to end the beautiful nursing moment with my macho Imtiaz when he is ready...

i didn't have any problem with Jihan because i only nursed her for about 6 1/2 months and i distanced myself from her at night so that she wouldn't nurse during the night..at that age, it was quite easy because she didn't even remember that she ever nursed with me..i regretted that i had to end my nursing realtionship with Jihan that way...i blame it on my lack of knowledge at that time...if only i could turn back the time...

the Big Bad Wolf Books Sale 2010

yes, call me crazy or what, i've been hunting for books for the past 2 days, back-to-back..! my first time ever attending the Big Bad Wolf Books Sale at South City Plaza, Seri Kembangan...couldn't believe my eyes there are so many books (i mean it, MANY) at very low prices (yes, i really mean it, VERY, VERY LOW)....

went there yesterday with my dear hubby (managed to persuade him to come along with me), leaving the kids behind after taking advices from my friends who went there on the very first day of sale...we arrived very early in the morning at around 8.45 am..a few people had arrived and started queue-ing (gosh, we the booklovers are really crazy!)..wo, we went to have a plate of roti canai and teh tarik just outside the mall and went back in at around 9.15 am..the queue was a bit longer, but we were still quite front...waited and waited until they finally opened the grill barrier at around 9.40am..everybody rushed in and ran towards the entry door..being a first timer, we followed the crowd...

we were kept waiting again at the entrance to the hall for another 20 min..when they finally open the door, everybody rushed in like mad people, grabbing boxes, pushing their trolley bags and we just carry our reusable shopping bags...we made a separate ways looking for our books...i can't believe it i grabbed all the books that i touched...the prices were so knocking cheap....

i wanted to look for fictions but then there were so many people and so many books to look at, i didn't know where to start...finally we made our payment after 40 min browsing through the big hall full of books...and guess what was the total amount..? RM 338 for 42 books...!! that's roughly about RM 8 each...!

just look at these fantastic books...

yes, we went in again today...it was quite unplanned, since i had a breastfeeding consultation to attend to this moring and everything settled at around 11.20am...along with the kids this time, we made our way hunting for the wolf again...with Imtiaz securely tugged in his sling, Jihan held his papa's hand, we were lost in the sea of books and people...today's aim- looking for some chick flick stuffs for my sister and some other good books sighted...

so, our earnings for today's catch- RM 236 for 24 books! that's less than RM10 per book..

i'm going crazy with this sale...i think i have enough stocks of books to read that can last for the entire year...me myself not pretty sure when i'm going to finish reading all those books...

enjoy yourselves looking at our books... ; )

i am an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC)

hi all, sorry for the long hiatus...yes, to much to write, but little time to do it...

first, let me start with a good news...remember that i've written about the MILCC scholarship award for me to sit for the International Board Lactation Consultant Examiners exam? yes, i sat for the exam on 29th July 2010...2 papers- 75 statements questions in the morning and 100 pictures questions in the afternoon...boy, that was exhausting...not forgetting that i was stuck in a massive traffic jam from Bangi to Kajang interchange due to an accident of reckless drivers on drizzling morning...lucky me, my dear hubby took a day off to send me to the exam venue at Hospital Selayang..if not, i would've cry in panic while driving..alhamdulillah, i managed to arrive to exam hall in time, merely about 20 min before the exam started...

there were 6 candidates sitting for the exam..me, being a first timer, i was nervous...i can't say how well or how bad i did in the exam..i prayed for the best and waiting for the results was such a longest wait ever..

finally, the results were announced on the IBLCE website on 29th October 2010...i browsed through my webcode number and my heart was pounding hard...and finally, there it was my number...and i passed the exam! alhamdulillah..i couldn't believe my eyes and re-checked my number again and again, just to make sure...(because the number immediately below me, failed)..i even called my dear hubby to check for me...when his 4 eyes checked and confirmed that my number  showed that i passed, then i agreed to believe...

so, officially i am thus awarded the right to use the title International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) for a period of 5 years...yes, i'm proud of myself and this is what i really want to do- helping mother and baby pairs out there to successfully breastfeeding with confidence...

insya allah, i will carry this amanah with all my heart...thank you all for the prayers and your support, and may Allah bless us all..