La Leche League International - How Weaning Happens

i just finished reading a breastfeeding book that i borrowed from the Susuibu.com Library. the La Leche League International - How Weaning Happens, by Diane Bengson, a LLL leader...

what i like about this book is that it includes the personal experiences of mothers who have weaned their children in a variety of ways...

La Leche League's approach to weaning is very different from the conventional view that weaning is something abrupt and painful that one must do to a baby to push him into the next stage of maturity....HOW WEANING HAPPENS presents weanings that are gentle, gradual, and natural... "Weaning can be seen as a lesson in trust. Trusting that your child will wean when he's ready is an act of faith, as is trusting that you and your child can find gentle, acceptable ways to wean."

 Above all, HOW WEANING HAPPENS recognizes that weaning is a process, not an event. It starts when a baby takes anything besides breast milk by mouth. Gradually, the baby finds other activities and pleasures to meet the needs that were once met exclusively by nursing. The weaning process may extend over months or years and over many stages of a child's development. Leaders often say, "Watch the baby, not the clock," about how often you nurse your baby. In the case of weaning, the slogan might translate to, "Watch the baby, not the calendar." As one mother in the book observed, "Weaning is not about logic or charts or time. Weaning is about readiness. I only know this because I can see that my baby is not ready to wean. She hasn't shown me at all that she is ready to wean, and she is the one person whose opinion on this subject counts."

It can be hard to balance the needs of mother and child in the cooperative venture of weaning. Many mothers find themselves thinking about weaning before the child is ready, while others experience disappointment when their baby or toddler initiates weaning earlier than expected. Things grow even more complicated when the rest of society weighs in. An entire chapter is devoted to "Pressure to Wean." It helps mothers deal with criticism or misinformation from others. The chapter on "Weaning Because of Medical Advice" is equally useful and presents information, resources, and enlightening questions to ask when a health care provider suggests weaning.

HOW WEANING HAPPENS does an excellent job of portraying the advantages of natural weaning. Bengson also has the courage to recognize that weaning can be hard emotional work. HOW WEANING HAPPENS respects mothers by addressing both the positive and negative sides of extended nursing: "Being aware of and honest about your own needs is the best way to avoid feeling burned-out or put upon by a nursing toddler." "Extended nursing isn't about being a martyr or feeling powerless in your nursing relationship . . . Instead of seeing nursing (or not nursing) as a power struggle to be won or lost, consider that your child is asking to nurse in order to get his needs met." Bengson helps the reader sort out whether taking a more active role in weaning will be worthwhile. There is a useful section about how weaning should not be expected to change your child's other behaviors, such as eating patterns or night-waking. Chapter 10 also takes us into a new arena: concrete advice for what to do when weaning doesn't go well.

The book ends on a positive note, reminding us that breastfeeding is only one aspect of the mother-child relationship. As one mother expresses it: "We are still very close. I realize that nursing did not equal mothering. I am still his mother and we are still attached." A satisfying weaning is as precious as the beautiful bond of breastfeeding. HOW WEANING HAPPENS will help many mothers achieve this satisfaction.

from the La Leche League International website

no, i'm not ready to wean Imtiaz as yet, although he is already 20 months old..i'm pretty sure Imtiaz is not ready as well...reading this fantastic book gives me the idea on how to anticipate the possible maternal feelings towards weaning, and how to continue to love our child unconditionally after the nursing relationship ends with your child...

it is such an amazing thing reading the mother's experiences and feelings on weaning and how their relationship with their children strengthen after weaning...it does bring tears to my eyes as well, because i am not sure how i would react to end the beautiful nursing moment with my macho Imtiaz when he is ready...

i didn't have any problem with Jihan because i only nursed her for about 6 1/2 months and i distanced myself from her at night so that she wouldn't nurse during the night..at that age, it was quite easy because she didn't even remember that she ever nursed with me..i regretted that i had to end my nursing realtionship with Jihan that way...i blame it on my lack of knowledge at that time...if only i could turn back the time...